Okay, so I have a lot of drafts I need to finish, because at this rate, Nakazawa Yuko will be dead before I’m ready to publish them.

However, looking at the recent spate of calendar cover snark, I’m gonna come out and say it:

I like C-ute’s calendar cover.

I know. I know you’re sitting there going, What the fuck are you smoking NOW, Chiakii? Well, my answer is nothing. Nothing at all. I mean, I did get this really excellent discount from Koharu the other day, but –

Huh? What? I mean — FOCUS HERE PEOPLE. THERE IS A FAN OF THE C-UTE CALENDAR COVER.

Now, I will not lie. It is cheap. It is politically incorrect. But that does not change the fact that Nakki and Kanna are pretty damn hot in those crazy clog-wearing-milkmaid-esque outfits (and they don’t look that bad, they’re very colorful, and I am a fan of color) and Erika looks lovely and elegant, despite the complete wrongness of her costume. Airi looks like those chicks in this TV saga of A Tale of Two Cities I was watching the other day, but she’s still pretty cute, in my opinion. And I have a thing for her hat. The idea to put them in outfits from all different cultures, while probably not having the desired effect, was still pretty good and the plain outside background draws your eye to the bright, colorful clothes of the girls.

Mai and Chisato…well, I can work up some anger at the cover in this case. Their clothes are cheap costume ripoffs of Chinese clothes, and there is no justification for those mini-baby bonnets on Chisato’s head, but Mai at least has an attractive facial expression. And Chisato…oh, Chisato. Better luck next time, sweetie.

Maimi would probably look better without the scarf, but she’s hot anyway. Maimi is always hot. And her dress is kind of cute, if I say so myself. So are her shoes. Is there a Maimi worship blog yet? Maybe I’ll start one.

…and reading back, I think I sort of accidentally ended up insulting the cover anyway. Whoops.

Posted: September 13th, 2008 under c-ute, eyecandy, wtf.
Comments: 4

When we last left our heroes, Sugaya Risako had just made a deal with the devil, sucking the Berryz through a wormhole. The mass of Tsugunaga Momoko and Natsuyaki Miyabi was duplicated and went zooming down a separate tunnel (presumably to Buono!).

Strange things happen in this wormhole. Yurina sees a vision, in which she’s suddenly Momoko-sized, and being chased by a 6-foot peach.

But the Berryz’ journey has finally ended… Read more »

Posted: August 22nd, 2008 under attack of the con-fettis, berryz koubou, h!p kids, hello! project, pv, single, wtf.
Comments: 4

A few days (weeks?) ago, I downloaded scans of Maimi’s Winter Concert solo PB. If you haven’t already done so, you should. Lots of Maimithigh.

That said…

If this was a unit, I’d buy everything they put out, and then some. They’d be High-King, but with less squeaky fail.

Also? DAMN MAIMI.

(Real post coming soon. No, really.)

Posted: August 22nd, 2008 under eyecandy, h!p kids, high-king, maimi yajima, photobook, wtf.
Comments: none

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… Read more »

Posted: July 24th, 2008 under album, cherry boom, going way way back, pv.
Comments: 4

alan is one of those artists that I had always meant to try, but never really got around to it. I don’t remember why. I’ll bet someone in H!P released a single that I completely bashed and bitched about but still racked up 100+ listens on iTunes with.

But one day, when I realized that I don’t really give a fuck about a song with the words “Monkey Dance” in them, I sat down and listened to “Ashita e no Sanka”…

…and then took out my earphones and stared at the screen in blank shock for about a minute afterwards.

Because this single is good. I’ve always been a sucker for classical or traditional music - cheesy, overproduced dance-pop is always fun, but going back to the roots is nice too. And that’s exactly what alan does in her first single. She employs everything from Chinese instruments to wailing in the chorus, and let me tell you, it all works in her favor. Read more »

Posted: July 23rd, 2008 under alan, avex, pv, single.
Comments: 4

…she’d totally sound like this.

I’m going to say something right now: I hate Cinderella. I really do. It’s my least favorite fairy tale ever, mostly because all Cinderella really does is bitch about having to pull her own weight around the house until a magical fairy godmother comes down to help her out and everything is fixed. And all Cinderella has to do is wash a few floors. (And she’s one of the 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived. Above Luke Skywalker and Batman. This is an injustice.)

Read more »

Posted: July 17th, 2008 under berryz koubou, c-ute, h!p eggs, h!p kids, hello! project, high-king, morning musume, pv, reina tanaka, shuffles, single.
Comments: 3

And by that, I mean, nothing matches AT ALL, therefore making it one of the greatest costumes ever worn by any H!P member at any time in H!P history.

Don’t ever change, Linlin.

ETA: After further inspection, I’ve come to the conclusion that the top and the skirt aren’t so bad…it’s just that they top it off with that HAT. It’s not even the fact that it’s bold and blue, it’s that it’s a big-ass rain hat turned up so it looks like a pseudo-pirate hat.

I’m not sure whether they should fire the costumer or give them a raise just for making me laugh so hard.

Posted: June 20th, 2008 under eyecandy, hello! project, linlin, morning musume.
Comments: 6

I’m going to say this straight out: I like Resonant Blue. I really, really do. But it was just so…not what I wanted. Read more »

Posted: June 5th, 2008 under hello! project, koharu kusumi, morning musume, pv, reina tanaka, single.
Comments: 7

I can’t help it. I saw that written on the box in the PV, and just like when I first got Sweet Valley High #69, I snickered. I can’t help it, I’m immature and horrible like that.

Anyway, according to several sources, the Wonder Girls are dropping their retro look with their multicolored shoes and hairstyles for a sexy look. Which disappointed me when I heard it, because what? Sexy? Fuck sexy. Every girl group in the world tries to pull off sexy at one point or another, and frankly, it’s old. Read more »

Posted: June 1st, 2008 under korean, preview, pv, single, wonder girls.
Comments: 3

…but for me, that idol is not Gocchin.

Which isn’t to say that I don’t love her to pieces. I do.

Maybe a little too much.

Though she’s been gone, her catchy music and mic stand molestation will remain with us H!P fans forever. So here’s to you, Gocchin. You indulged a lot of dirty fantasies and brought out a lot of inner lesbians. I’ll never forget you.

Or your boobs, for that matter.

(P.S. Update your fucking blog. Don’t let your badass header image go to waste.)

Posted: May 10th, 2008 under 510, boobs, elder club, eyecandy, hello! project, maki goto, photobook, sotsugyou.
Comments: 2